Here is the concluding part of the story on Funmi Ayotade, the lady who confessed to being a lesbian for 28 years before Jesus rescued her. The first part of the interview was in our August edition.
Now a child of God, Ayotade is now championing a cause to bring sanity to the sexual lives of people. She is the convener of Sodomy Prevention Initiative. In this concluded part, Ayotade laments that over 150 so called Christian organizations in Nigeria have adopted gay friendly theology. She also gives further insight into the lesbian world and how she encountered Jesus.
You were talking about the factors that engender homosexual behaviour?
The human sexuality starts forming at about age 12. So when a child at that age is in a single gender school, he or she may want to find expression to her sexuality and seeing people of the same gender around may just hasten homosexual tendency. So in single gender school there is need for proper guidance and counseling. They should be made to understand that Same Sex Attraction is not normal and it is ungodly.
Misplacement of gender role could also influence homosexual acts. We say what a man can do a woman can do better. But that is not the Bible. There are roles that nature has bestowed on men and there are roles for women. When a woman does energy demanding jobs and hard labour there is tendency for such woman to tend towards homosexual acts. If a woman does what a man does consistently she may lose her identity.
But are there people who happen on the act at adult age?
There are people who are vulnerable. People who have trouble with their marriage are prone to it. A lot of pastors’ wives are tending towards it because of the inability of their husbands to fulfill their sexual roles. The women will like to consolidate the missing link in their sexual lives and as a result get close to female partners.
You said pastors’ wives?
Yes. 82 percent of those who were my partners when I was in the dark world were pastors’ wives. In the cause of relating with them when their husbands travel on missionary journeys we get involved in the act. There are ladies who take the role of the husbands when the husband is not at home and sometimes their husbands travel for as long as three months. In the absence of the man at home, a lady comes in to help with the domestic chores and other things. That is where the passion develops and they are hooked. The shocking thing is that pastors’ wives who do it don’t see it as something bad. They just have this false feeling that since they are not committing adultery they are okay. But they fail to realize that it is as bad if not worse than adultery.
But what is the connection of cultism to homosexuality?
There are female cults for lesbians and they go through initiation. The kind of initiation they do is that they want to see you make love to another female and this could go on for seven days. Such cults are inLagoscampuses. At least I know ofLagosschools. They could be in other institutions. The managements of these schools are not aware or pretend not to be aware because some staff of the schools are also members of the cult groups. Most cult groups, I mean the popular ones on campuses are into homosexual acts. It’s a lifestyle for cult guys. And they have the support of the rich in the society. Many of these cults have mystic books.
They read from these mystic books and encourage themselves with a Bible known as the Gay Bible. There are some who hold regular meetings and they conduct themselves like a religious group. For instance they also go through baptism. They go through water baptism and baptism of fire. The baptism is different from what we experience in a genuine church. They chant some of the words from the mystic books. The book talks about human beings of the same gender. The Gay Bible is like the normal Bible but they portray some characters in the Bible as gay. They try to impress on themselves that David and Jonathan, Paul, Jesus were gay. In the Gay Bible there is the Book of Jonathan which talked about the life of Jonathan.
But are they not aware of portions of the Bible that kicked against homosexual act?
They are aware. But they have succeeded in changing the scriptures. I mean the one they use. In their own Bible in Lev 18 where God warned against same sex attraction and having sex with same sex they twisted it to read, thou shall not fornicate. Unfortunately there are some homosexuals who never saw the real Bible but whose first encounter is with the Gay Bible.
So the fellowship holds here in Nigeria?
Yes. I was part of the fellowship. It’s different from the Jide Macaulay group which has since stopped holding when police raided the place. This one holds once in two months. I was initiated into the group through a pastor’s wife. They hold their programme in the open and it is not something that they hide. There are top Nigerians who are backing them. That is why it amazes me when I read about the hypocrisy of government on the issue. It is difficult to wipe out. It will take God to reach out to those that are lost in it. God is using some of us who have been through it to reach out to those who are still there.
Now let’s talk about your experience?
I started when I was young as I said and I was in it for 28 years. It was a struggle for me. I was a church activist. I participated in church activities and got involved with a number of sex partners. It was in the process of trying to solve the problem that I married at the age of 25 but I opted out of the marriage when I still found that the problem was not solved. I was looking for a way out. But wrong advice coupled with pressure from female partners got me deeper into it. In cause of my experience I met a lot of top entertainers, ministers’ wives and top Nigerians who are into it. But I was really sad within me.
If I may ask, how do you identify a gay or a lesbian?
It does not take more than 60 seconds to know a homosexual person. One of the notable signs is that they don’t look straight into the eyes of people of the same sex with them. They are unduly reserved and they learn to make advances through body language. They try to gain attention on some occasions and they tend to be unnecessarily friendly. They are found of body touch and caressing of the same sex. And they preoccupied with either academic or religious activities so that nobody would notice their escapades.
But did you have life threatening situations in the cause of your experience?
While I was in the dark world, I was a king. There are two types of lesbian, the pillow queen lesbian and the king. The king is like the man in the lesbian world while the pillow queen is the woman. The pillow queens are more in number but the kings are few. The kings are the tomboy. So there were violent clashes associated with relationships. If for instance the pillow queen that I’m going out with realizes that I’m in another relationship, she will become violent and just put up a fight. There was a case that a partner roped me into an offence and got me arrested by the police because she realized that I was relating with another person. So there were life threatening situations and even when I pulled out, some of them are still making trouble with me.
Are there people who do it for commercial purpose?
Some do it for money. People like that don’t have problem with their sexuality. In the cause of my outreach since the Lord delivered me, I have had cause to interact with professional prostitutes who do it for money and some who travel as far as from Portharcourt toLagosto meet their partners. These partners are top Nigerians who give a lot of money to just to satisfy their sexual urge.
Do we have people who do it for ritual purposes?
There is something mystical about homosexual lifestyle. When somebody is into it there is tendency that the person will not suffer financially. I never lacked and I got jobs easily. But that is not a compliment because the devil only uses that to tie people down. The kingdom of the devil has a way of making people in it comfortable so that their eyes will be blinded to the truth. There is what is called the sharing bond in the kingdom of darkness. It is a mental thing. When you see somebody in the same group with you there is tendency to want to help the person. There is this oneness among homosexuals. It’s a psychological thing. So when homosexuals don’t lack it is just that they have a way of helping themselves and protecting the brotherhood.
Let’s talk about your conversion?
The process of my conversion started in 2008. That same year I lost two of my children. Their loss came at a point when I was waiting on God and crying for deliverance. I had subjected myself to fasting and praying. That was the month one of them died. I remember I used to sing that whatever would prevent me from the way of salvation that God should remove it; even if it would be my child. So when I lost the child, the memory of her lesbian tendency came to me. I believed God wanted to take away the reproach of homosexuality from me because already she had began to show that trait at a young age.
In the cause of this, my sister who lives in theUKhad a dream. She said she saw that I was about being electrocuted in the dream and a hand just stopped the electrocution. She then pleaded with me to stop whatever I was doing that was not good that God wanted to use me. She did not know I was into homosexual act.
The longest lesbian relationship I had was for 13 years. But in the process of trying to quit I met with this partner who lived in Abesan Estate area ofLagos. She lived with her mother and I moved in to live with them. I had a divine visitation during one of my affairs with this partner who has since become a torn in my flesh. It was a dream. In the dream I saw a man holding something and coming towards me while he danced to a song. The spirit ministered to me that the man was Jesus. Before then in the dream I had been taken through a series of revelation where I saw a church setting and saw people in the church with gifts. As I was about entering the church, the door of the church opened automatically. I woke up from the dream and became uncomfortable with my lifestyle of lesbianism. My partner who was by me in bed and was getting ready to have fun with me tried to discourage me. But I encouraged her to surrender her life to Jesus that I was also ready to give my life. That was the turning point for me. But my partner was adamant. And she has remained adamant till today.
It got to a point that I started confessing to people that I was a lesbian and the more I confessed the better I became. By this time I was living in the same house with this partner. Incidentally her mother was a minister in a top Pentecostal church inNigeria. When I decided to pack out of the house her mother was surprised. Apparently she did not know her daughter and I were into homosexual acts. When I told her, she was taken aback and rather than act and move to help her daughter she became defensive and tried to do everything to cover her. There was a time she asked that I should follow her to their village to swear at the shrine that her daughter was a lesbian. I told her that her daughter had been a lesbian long before I met her and wondered why she was trying to defend her since she was old enough to defend herself.
I moved out of the house eventually and had to look for succour in churches. I started interacting with a number of God’s servants who helped me in the process of rehabilitation and deliverance. The deliverance took me to one Holy GhostschoolofEvangelisminIlesha. God also used Kingdom Life Ministries and Eternal Life and Revival Ministries all located around Idimu area ofLagosto help me. It was in these churches that I was exposed to the word of God and my Christian life was enriched. I have also been under the mentorship of several men and women of God who have been tremendously used for my complete deliverance.
So what has been the experience after your confession?
It’s been war. But God has been my strength and help. I can tell you that I have had terrible experiences even in the church. There was the case of a man of God who was supposed to help me spiritually who wanted to lure me into adultery. God gave me the grace to resist the temptation. I had to leave that environment. I thank God for the wife of that man of God who knew the kind of man she was married to. His wife has been quite supportive. There were cases of mistrust in some churches. Sometimes they find it difficult to accept me. Some are still suspicious of my move. But I can say again and again that I have been completely cured and delivered of the sinful habit. It has been a long process but God has brought me to a place of total freedom.
Till today the last partner I had in the lesbian world is still angry with me and would probably have killed me if God had not given me the wisdom on what to do. She once sent thugs after me and in fact sent some people to assassinate me. I made a report to the police about her threats. I was kidnapped afterwards by some people around Yaba area. They wanted to kill me but when I told them I had made reports to the police about the lady persecuting me and also shared my side of the story, they could not do anything. Rather, they drove me to a place inCotonouand dumped me there. I traced my way to a church and from there came back home. It is a long story. But I;m certain of victory in this matter.
What about your ex-partners and those you left in the lesbian world?
God has helped me to start a group known as Sodomy Prevention Initiative. We try to reach out to those who have Same Sex Attraction and motivate and train church leadership on how to curb the act. Our efforts centre on evangelism, education and enlightenment of society on the danger posed by these people and how to help them out. God has also helped us to reach to schools and campuses inLagosand the result has been amazing as many are being delivered from the sinful act.
But how do you survive?
I have been surviving on God. It has been challenging. But God has been taking us through thick and thin. I give lectures and talk with young people how to stay clean. Many people in the homosexual world are brilliant people. If they channel their energy to positive values and quit their sinful lifestyles they will be a great blessing to the society. I think that is why the devil makes them to abuse themselves.
The truth is that the challenge of same sex attraction is real and it is time the church began to take concrete steps to save our nation from this demonic influence.